Still at the hospital

So we are still here at the hospital. They still haven't done the ultrasound or the circumcision. The nurse has cleared us on the gavage tube. But now we still have to wait for them to do the rest. It looks like I am being discharged, so we were trying to see if Nathan was going to be discharged with me too. But it looks like that is not happening. Another heart break, having to leave the hospital without my baby. Its Halloween, I would love to take Briana and Nathan trick or treating, but that is not going to happen. Well I probably wouldn't take Nathan out, but still. They are going to keep him over night again just to make sure he is keeping his food down and doesn't have any reactions to the circumcision. We are headed home, we talked about me spending the night at the hospital with him, but we decided that Briana needed me too. So I am headed home to spend the night with my little girl. Couldn't stop the tears as I left the hospital, I feel like a bad mother. What kind of a mother leaves her baby behind. I know that its not true, but that is how I feel. When feelings like this take control of my mind it reminds me of the C. S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters. I know that these feelings and thoughts aren't from God, only the Devil could make me feel bad like that. I am thankful that I have my strong husband to support me and give me strength.